Stream of Consciousness

November 14th 2011

I am talking about me, dang it!

everyone is telling me that they want to hear about me and dont really know how im doing...but i feel like i am writing about me.

my experiences...i mean, how would YOU be if you were walking up a hill and somebody just asked you if they could be baptized?! yeah, there are hard days...or hard weeks, when people only just want to teach you what they know...or test your knowledge about the scriptures...or just invite you in because they dont want to be rude. and there are people that fight with you. and people that no matter how clearly you say 'repent and be baptized because you are going to el infierno if you dont' just cant understand.

i think i am losing all tact

i have to try not to offend people when they ask if what im really saying is that their church doesnt help them return to the presence of God. because am now trying to just make people understand...but they dont!!!! and its not my spanish that's the problem!!!!!!!!.

i am learning to be pretty darn blunt, which may or may not be a good thing :) but sometimes its fun...haha! the other day we were teaching a guy who likes to say he talks clearly (but he really just talks in circles about abstract ideas)....about the third or fourth time he repeated 'hna pappas, you know that i like to speak things clearly' i stopped him and told him 'no, you dont like to speak clearly, you like to speak very unclearly in circles!' his wife started to laugh hysterically and clap...BECAUSE SHE KNOWS ITS TRUE!!!!!!!!!

.... yeah, there are hard times...

but its like what president says, very rarely we remember the pain. we forget pain quite easily. and really the only pain comes from wanting everyone to accept and live the gospel...they dont know what they're losing, but we do...and so it hurts

...but i've been thinking about the scripture in Corithians 15 says that there is one glory of the sun. one glory of the moon...but there are many many stars in the sky. its sad, but God knows that the Majority of his kids arent going to make it to the celestial (or even the terestrial (no idea how to spell that)) kingdom. and its sad...i just hope that me...and my family make it there.

vaya pues!

i just want everyone to know that i love the Gospel of Jesus Christ!!! ITS TRUE!!! i love the plan of salvation, because there really isa purpose to us being here on earth! we DID exist before we got here...we WILL exist after this life...and there is a plan. its important to realize that this life really is small...REALLY small...its so short but what we do here has eternal significance

...i really dont know what i believed before the mission, because every day its a new realization of what i know and what i believe. i feel like i never knew this stuff before, even though i professed that i did...i believed it, sure...but now i know it!!!!

i am happy. i hope that tells you something. i have never been happier in my life. because i know. and the hard stuff. really doesnt matter, because the hard stuff always...ALWAYS...has an expiration date.

I love you all and hope you too are happy. i miss you but even that wont last too much longer...

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